one can only hope to be this cute one day

Con and Jo Flowin'

Behind the scenes after Conor and I were slap happy. This is a the product of sleep deprivation, finals, and being in a studio with no sunlight for way to many hours.

Dove is Love

ironic

Guy #1- he believes he obviously does not love me because he cannot control his desires for me.

Guy #2 - he believes he cannot love anyone without being intimate with them first, this being the case, he will never be able to love me.

In review

Love = attraction "bad"

Love = attraction "good"

But, life is great and I am still learning, living, and loving.

this made me sooo happy today

Home - Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros

EDWARD SHARPE & THE MAGNETIC ZEROS | MySpace Music Videos

he said, "in a small town like this, there's not much else to do but think."

I remember sitting with mason and gibby, and we talked for a really long time. They were there for me when that boy kissed me and ran. I was so mad about that, because it seemed to be happening to many times. It is just how people are though, I am that way too. I have had it done to me, and I have done it to other people. But, we just talked, and it felt so good to talk about so many things we needed to talk about. We planned on making documentaries, and make a difference somewhere, to someone, to ourselves.

We were standing on the beach, my wet suit still half way on, we had tried to surf for a few hours, and I know how my body gets when it is on a board, it just feels right. I stood there, tanned from the sun, with sea salt drying on my skin, and that is one of my favorite feelings in the world, my skin felt so good. Ray let me try their salt and vinegar chips, and I just kept eating. It was one of the best sensations on my tongue I had felt in a really long time. I just kept going, and they let me keep going, and I ate their whole bag. Danny and I stood and watched the others surf, and it was cold. My feet where freezing, and he said lets take a run, and it felt so good to run. My body had not ran in such a long time, and then my mind started thinking about things, which I had not let it do in such a long time, and for the first time it did not feel so scared to think anymore. I was untouchable. One of my favorite moments in a really long time. A really long time. A really long time. A really long time.

I was waiting on campus, and I laid down, just as a starfish would. I listened to Rogue Wave's- Eyes five or six times in a row and I sang out loud to my i-pod with my eyes shut, letting the sun just be with me. I felt so calm.

I listened to Bon Iver for the first time this summer, live. His voice matched my soul, and I just closed my eyes and felt like I was in the right place at the right time, which had not happened for a very long time before this. I just listened, and felt. I knew he would not be there to spoil it for me, and my body was not tense because it knew this, it felt nice to know that.

He kissed me, and his jaw was so strong, it felt good to kiss him back. His hands cradled the back of my head, and slid to my cheek, as if they knew just what to do. We kissed, and then I said, we should stop because my mind had finally caught up to me. He stopped, and he did not push it. He said, "do you not trust yourself?" All I could do was sigh. I had already learned the answer to that question. But, he just stopped, and It was nice to trust someone else instead of myself, and for the first time in a long time myself discovered that it can trust itself. It feels so good to trust yourself when you have not been able to trust yourself in a really long time.

When I dance in the room we are meant to dance in, there are sky lights where the sun shines through and warms the floor. When I dance with my eyes closed, my body just wants to be there, contact with the sun, playing with the warmth. It calms me, and if feels so good to be calmed when you have not been calm in a really long time.

i wish i could remember this thing I said about blowing bubbles, I cannot even remember if it was bubble gum or bubble, bubbles.  but, i blew bubbles the other day, and it always makes me feel like a child when i do. it feels nice to feel like that, when you have the weight a grown-up carries. He said, "we owe it to the universe to discover truth." It feels good to already know the truth, but i remembered you have to keep discovering that truth. I think that is a little scary sometimes. i am scared to think for myself, but i think I am strong enough.

Trent told them we were students at BYU-Idaho and it make me laugh so hard that he said that to the people we were running from. We tried to sleep in the lodge without getting caught, but we got caught. We had to leave, so we did. It forced us outside, into the cold. We started a fire and we roasted things, and laughed, and knew "that boy" was Seth. I will never forget that, and it feels good to never forget. Then, we had to sleep, so we laid our heads down and saw a million shooting stars that night. I was cold for a long time, but then I was warm. We long boarded the next morning and it made so much sense. I love hearing my gloves clap together as I ride, I loved watching the boys ride together, that was always my favorite. We trusted one another, and it felt good to trust people when I rode.

there is this girl who is eating a green apple in my room, who will care about this girl?

Help-Portrait

We are bringing this project to Salt Lake City this year. December 12, 2009. Let me know if you are interested in helping in any way. 



This video is more of a documentation of the project and feedback from people it effected. This is a beautiful opportunity.




Thank, Jo

Random man: What is your nationality?
Me: Caucasian?
(random man laughs)
Me: I guess I have English and some Swedish in me as well
(random man laughs)
Random man: What is your boyfriend?
Aaron: white as white
Random man: you are a lucky man, you are one lucky man
(Aaron and i both exchange glances)
Aaron: Dude, you are right
Random "dude":You never call another man dude. Dude? My name is Cliff
You are so lucky. she is sexy. You need to tell her she is sexy everyday!

she asked him for a bike lock for her bike. He brought it, and she never saw him. She did not call him. She walked to glass. She did not think to call. She thought if she just would have picked up three pieces of trash, maybe she would have seen him, but it was to late for that. I was to late for a lot of things. She wanted to call him, but she had nothing to say and he had nothing to say. So she did not call and that took strength to not call him. He is happier now and she knows that. She is sad because he is happy and she is not. She misses him, but just him being there with her, none of the other stuff. She does miss his laughter though, that was her favorite. They actually laughed together sometimes too. One day they laughed when it was cold out and their teeth got really cold from being exposed to the air for to long and it burned a little when they closed their mouths and the heat from their own mouths wrapped around their cold teeth. It was a nice moment though, and it made them laugh again because they felt silly. I feel happy right now though, remembering a nice moment is important to me. This means they did exist. This means she is getting better. I think the girl is getting better. I think boy is doing some great things for himself. This girl is proud of boy.

what I was thinking monday morning November 2nd, 2009.

I feel so sad. I do not want to face the world today. I know the sunshine will make me happier, but i still have to anticipate the sad when the sun goes down. I just wake up with this sinking in my chest, and I feel so sad. I try to make my bed, and I just do not want to anymore, I know I have to just wake up and make it again tomorrow and it hurts to know that, tomorrow will be the same thing, it does not seem like it is getting much better, it feels worse than before. I wasted so much time not being loved, and that is a sad thing. I do not know what will make me happy.

I could go to class on time
I could wake up earlier
I could make my bed earlier
I could get rid of clutter (but then I feel so empty, empty space feels empty)
Then I work so hard to fill it with whatever I can find, and most of the things I find will not really make me happy.
I could photograph
I could run
I could scream
I could skip everywhere I go
I could torture myself more
I could pretend it is all okay (I am just so bad at faking, at pretending)
My eyes are just so sad all the time
my heart breaks every morning when I wake up and have to remember what my life is
I try so hard.
I am just so tired and I have not even tried for very long
I have felt so much pain in the last two years, maybe I am just weak.
I put myself through all of this, I could not do what was best for myself.
That makes me sad.
I was not strong enough to stop it. I could have.
It is over now.
I have to wake up.
I will be okay.
I will greet the morning with a smile.
I will get out of bed. I will make my bed.
I will read my scriptures.
I will say my prayers.
I will go to class.
I will focus on my work.
I will create beautiful and satisfying things.
I will create fulfilling things. Art.
I will create for myself until it stops hurting.
I will push through all of this because I can.
I can stop this.
I will stop this.
I will be happy again.
I am happy again.
I love to love.
I should love to live.
This will all be in the past soon. And I will be in the past soon.
I am not sad anymore.
I am happy again.
I am happy.
Happy.

where the wild things are

"Let the wild rumpus start!"

It was delightful, and scary sometimes.
The dialogue was pure and raw and unsettling.

I liked it in a nontraditional liking kind of way.

this is great

i feel like i have been in a big hug all day. it feels really nice and i feel really calm. peaceful.

oh, those smurfs

Candid, natural reactions if a smurf were proposing to us.

box

She gave me a small cardboard box, one I could easily wrap my arms around, and her room smelled of an exhausted chaos. Her tired eyes averted the box as she handed it to me, and I knew this was painful for her, painful enough I could feel the weight of the box as I took it from her fragile arms. It suddenly made sense, everything he ever gave her, the little things that nipped at her heart, splashing memories around her mind where she did not want them anymore. She would have packed away everything she saw him in had there been a large enough box; yet, here was a box a young child could carry and feel they had contributed in some way. I needed to put it someplace, a place I never had to see it either, and I prayed I would never have to pack my own cardboard box for someone else to take from me someday.

Shoot the Tube

There is a place where peeps do what they call "shooting the tube." It is a tube used for water flowage under the freeway. People block off the water and ride down it like a water slide when the water is released. My first time doing it was at night, and it felt like traveling through space because people had splattered the walls with glow stick paint. During the afternoon was great, and much faster because we had better boards to block more water. Loved it!

And mostly this just means Rachelle loves us... and how!

Some things I was thinking

We spend half of our lives trying to define ourselves, and the other half trying to live up to what we defined ourselves as, when in the end we could have had a full life just living. I am not saying do not examine your life, but definitions can set boundaries and limit us from achieving our full potential, and to reach something never before obtained, we have to do extraordinary things. I believe in a moral code, and that the content of our character is an impetus of how we approach life. I do not believe we are solely defined by what we do, but how we choose to do it. I am just saying Carpe that Diem sometimes, and if you make a mistake, make it the best mistake you have ever made. In the end you are your biggest inhibitor, as well as your biggest motivator.

I Woke Up

I woke up the sunlight softly streaming down my avocado walls, and today was a new day. There has been a lot of change lately, and this change feels good, but scary at times too. I have been thinking something to myself a lot lately, and today I thought my thoughts out loud after we finished slack lining, and perhaps during a moment where my thoughts made no sense to be spoken, but I said something to this effect, "we get to be who we are, and why would we ever limit ourselves." As I continue with the photography program more and more people want to know what kind of a photographer I am, and I think I just want to do it all, this way I do not feel limited in my options to live and do what feels right for myself. And then Nelson shard something he had heard by some very inspired people "our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." This was beautiful to me and I truly know I have such a potential to succeed, but getting there is scary because it often requires sacrifice, and sacrificing something you care so dearly about, it is a hard thing to do, and I pray for Courage everyday. But life is beautiful, and it is a beautiful life, and I am ready to have the light wake my avocado walls again tomorrow, where I may drop my knees to the floor and receive the courage I need to do all of this.

I get to choose what I want to become, but I will not limit myself by saying something like, "That is not something I have done before, and it seems unlike me, so I will not do it." I am just going to go about living and doing what seems right in the moment, and there are great people around me so this couldn't be half bad.

"No Impact Man"

This is a Challenge- where do I start?

Bouncy Balls

I think this may be where all the bouncy balls I ever lost went, and pretty much any other kid who had a bouncy take off on them. Bouncy balls are so free.

Use Dawn

cutest

I got the Paints

I painted today, it felt nice. It is small, and I like the colors, they remind me of summer turning to fall. I want to keep painting, I want a huge canvas, or a hundred small canvases.

Untitled

It began with my search for peace, something to mend my heart, and suddenly everyone had a story to tell, and a wide spectrum of loneliness was presented before me as I heard the experiences of others in relation to my own. I began to understand we can feel alone when we are alone, we can feel alone in a landscape of people, alone surrounded by family and friends, alone within the arms of a lover, and alone in the absence of hope, when the only calm we experience is by finally falling asleep.

My series creates a visual dialogue exploring the vastness of a relationship in its successes and progressive deterioration. The bedroom felt like an appropriate place to demonstrate this realm of togetherness and separation, as it is an intimate space, and a common ground a couple may share. The staged scene offered a sterile environment I felt was important to avoid distractions, allowing for an internalized focus on the narrative and its interaction with someones own personal experiences because this feeling of being alone is felt by everyone.

The Truth Documentary

My first documentary - The Truth- Utah's Anti-Tobacco Campaign

Awaken

My first narrative piece everyone...

The Truth did two skate and BMX competitions in Price and Moab last weekend, and I was fortunate enough to help out with the two events. We teamed up with Zagg (invisible shield) and Arcade Magazine (local zine in Salt Lake City emphasizing skate and snowboarding). With our powers combined we passed out a lot of free product and a lot of kids had a really good time. People in the community were grateful for a positive, free event.

Jaylyn, my little homie, he brought me a popsicle from the icecream truck, cutie!

We passed out a bunch of free helmets to the kids and Jaylyn is sporting one of them. Most of the kids did not have helmets or preferred to not wear one if they did; by the end of the event, the kids were stoked on the helmets and all of the competitors wore one for the competition. Before the event started one the smaller kids, Isaiah, fell off his bike and hit his head extremely hard on the concrete, he had huge goose egg, and most likely a concussion. I had to carry him off the park because he was to unstable to walk off. We gave him a free helmet before he left!

The little homies with their new helmets getting ready for their heat.

Candle Light Vigil

The Truth: Utah's Anti-Tobacco Campaign hosted a Candle Light Vigil recently at the State Capitol building, were we set up 1,330 tea lights to represent each person who died last year in Utah due to Tobacco related diseases. It was a very powerful event. House Representative, Paul Ray passionately addressed the larger issues with Big Tobacco Corruption, and the real effects Tobacco can have on someone, including second hand smoke. His mother smoked two packs of cigarettes a day while he was in the womb, preventing his heart from properly forming, forcing him to undergo three heart surgeries by the time he was 16, and have his last heart surgery two years ago due to complications of the first three surgeries. He explained the dangers of secondhand smoke, "You pull out a cigarette while driving and your kid is in the back seat, well, you are killing them." He mentioned 200 of the 1,330 people died in Utah last year due to tobacco related diseases were deaths due to secondhand smoke. This is serious biz!

A youth advocate, Sky, also spoke to us about the effects Tobacco has had on his own family, and his experiences in fighting Big Tobacco with the Phoenix Alliance ( a youth led Anti-Tobacco group in Utah).

House Representative and Sky

Brinton Jones, singer from Devil Whale, formally known as Palamino
played for the crowd after the three speakers. It was a beautiful evening.

All in all, a great event!

www.fighttheugly.com

Photographer and Photographed

Emily's sister wanted us to model her flowers and veils for her blog.

www.theveilblog.blogspot.com

scene

Girl 1: I checked his page

Girl 2: You went to the page?!

(girl 1 nods)

Everyone: Agghh!

Girl 2: NEVER go to the page!

Girl 3: I went to the photos the other day

Everyone: Aggghh! Agh! Aaaa!

Girl 2: First, Never go to the page. Second, Never go to the photos.

Everyone: Agghhh! Aaaaggghhh! AAAAGGGHHH!


End Scene

rain. rain.

rain please go away.

Ways of Seeing

While reading “Ways of Seeing” I was able to relate to the section tackling the way men and women see one another and themselves. Berger implies men are the surveyors and women are the surveyed, and in turn women must survey themselves as men survey them. In my mind I was saying, “yes, yes, yes” to the small text and obvious script, is was something I had always known to be true, only worded so well. I had constant flashes of advertisements, movies, magazines, television, and personal history going through my head, validating Berger’s words.

I purchased three magazines for this assignment and had expectations from each to further convince me of what I knew to be true, which they did; however, I discovered other things in addition to my expectations. There were advertisements of scantily clad women, with backs arched and waiting for the male gaze to ravish their bodies, and it was apparent the sex appeal of this beautiful women was selling the product, pushing men to the outskirts of their imagination. Then it hit me, this magazine is directed toward women, and suddenly this woman had her back arched for me, demonstrating the sex appeal I could have if I was dressed as she was dressed. I unexpectedly felt as accountable as the male viewer I had been resenting for endorsing this behavior. This woman is beautiful; however, she is no longer a woman, but a commodity to both males and females.

Advertisers know their audience, and try to build a lifestyle their audience would accept. Women want to be desired, but this does not mean they want to give up their identity in the process. The previous advertisement discussed demonstrates a woman as a sexual object through the male gaze, but in turn women have to view this woman as an object; we have to observe not only ourselves through their eyes but other woman as well. Being aware of this forces women to make a choice, to be viewed as merely an object or insist men see more. One add by Banana Republic shows a beautiful female playing the piano, giving the viewer more information than just a beautiful face, giving us a glimpse of her soul, and it is difficult to immediately defile someone when you are aware they are a person.

The thing that surprised me was the objectification of men; they are put on the same pages as woman and are there as a visual stimulant, providing sex appeal for the product once again. Men are displayed for feminine desire; however, we do not need to see a man with his shirt off to know he is attractive. A little scruff, and hands tucked nonchalantly in his pockets is enough for the female viewer. The male’s magazine also had more text and political references mixed in with relatively appropriate images, bringing us to a combination of both a male and female audience; such as, Times or People Magazine, attempting to keep a level of class.

Worth hearing, worth seeing, worth doing

blessed

So I heard Elder Perry and his sweet little wife speak tonight, and they both had some wonderful things to say; unfortunately my over-active mind was in a frenzy so I can only sum things up by saying they had an energy together and it radiated from the pulpit. Elder Perry insists we light a fire and start doing what we need to be doing to live productive, inspired lives or maybe that is just what I got from this evening. Shoot, what am doing with my life? It was lovely to shake the hand of such a great man, who is much taller in person. I had only seem him speak in general conference, or seen his individual photograph as he is an apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. His wife beamed right next to him and I felt honored to hear their words.

I could only dream of such moments as I lived in South Dakota, and General Conference was about all we had it seemed. I was able to hear from Elder Perry this evening, and Elder Cook joined our ward a few weeks ago due to his own inspiration to get to know the students he makes decisions about, decisions that effect their futures. It was lovely to hear from him, however brief it was. I was also able to meet Elder Wirthlin a few months before he passed away, in his homeward, and I knew I was in the presences of a chosen and inspired man of the Lord. He was very sweet, and I stumbled over my words in my nervousness in meeting him. I had heard him speak to a large single adults crowd, along with Steve Young, relaying some glorious moments in their football days and the roads they took that got them to the present. Apparently it all takes a significant amount of work and patience. I suppose that leaves me hope.

I was also able to hear both Elder and Sister Oaks share a message with us, and the trials Sister Oaks had while she waited to find Elder Oaks. It was a unique story and shows us it is all in theLord's time. I loved hearing their words as well. Sometimes I think I am ready to get married, and sometimes, I wonder when the right time will be? I have much to prepare for, and I suppose that is all I can do right now, but I learn beautiful things everyday, even those trials I am going through are beautiful in the end. I have learned so much lately, and I am finally grateful for everything. I feel peace. I miss him sometimes, and I still love and care a lot about him, and I hope he knows that as well because it is nice to be dear to someone. It is important to remember even those who are called to lead the Church as a whole had their own struggles and still struggle sometimes, and knowing everyone struggles gives me hope, because the Lord will help us through whatever he gives us, and sometimes it is tough love, but that is just part of His eternal love, pushing us to see our potential, and eventually helping us achieve it. This is a wonderful thought I think.

I am so blessed to hear the words I need to hear, be it through the Lord's servants or other vessels around me, or in the Book of Mormon he so graciously gave us as a guide through this lifetime, a little "blue" handbook. We are pretty lucky to have this book, with the teachings of our Lord and Savior on the American Continent, and once again be reminded of the very struggles even the most righteous had as well, and suddenly we know it is all part of the Lord's Plan. I will love my challenges, if not at first, perhaps one day, and I will love the people involved in my challenges. I am beyond blessed to be in Salt Lake, central to the work going forth, with opportunities left and right to hear the Apostles of the Lord, to shake their hands, and thank them for the those words. It was been a beautiful day, and I am just so blessed to be here. I love life, and I love everyone who is in my life. I love my Heavenly Father, and that is never-changing. I get to thank Him for all I am blessed with everyday, and ask Him for the things I need help with in my life, and He listens, and loves me in return. I think we all have it pretty good. You are loved, and that is pretty great.

love, Jordan

brick o' cake

I pretty much just ate a brick of cake. it was not even that great, but I ate it anyway. Do you see a trend occurring? I either A. eat poorly or B. enjoy creative snack choices; regardless I am full and ready to sleep it out. I remember someone telling me you get crazy dreams when you eat chocolate before you sleep. I really hope this was true and I am not just making this up because I dig a good dream-venture. I will be sure to let you all know if I get on of those good flying dreams out of the deal or something, they tend to be my favorite, and if I do, I think I will eat blocks of chocolate cake every night. It would be worth it. K, peace out homies.

chester cheeto: he so fine

You know there is a problem when you have to type with one hand because your other hand is busily gathering puffy cheetos for your mouth to eat, and you keep thinking to yourself "one more cheeto and then I will use both hands to type." It is truly frustrating when one cheeto turns into four and four turns into eight, and you see where I am going with this, and suddenly nothing spectacular has been written becuase I could not stop eating cheetos, sorry friends, maybe another night. toodles.

The Challenge: The bag of Cheetos asks: see if your arm is as long as 29 cheetos puffs.

The answer: I have a 10-12 cheeto arm span. I am officially afraid of 29 Cheeto span people.

google-able

It is official, I am official. My name "Jordan Huntington" when typed into the Google search engine, my website magically appears, not just merely on the first page, but it is the first on the first page. Apparently, Google just really likes me, because right below the link to my website, is the link to this very blog in front of your pretty little heads, unless you have a large head; however, I do love all sized heads. Then, shortly after those two links, is an additional link to my portrait blogspot sight, which I probably should just get rid of now. So, there you have it, put it to the test, or just believe me. I am officially Google-able. It feels glorious to be Google-able. Even the word Google-able is fantastic. Life is better this way. l'extrémit. (the end: in french) also learned through google. Ti Amo Tutti (italian for I love you all) and Gute Nacht (good night in German). Google is love-able and I love to be Google-able. ende (end in German).

Digital Imaging Final Project: I am Every Color

Bright Eyes everyone.