better better better

This is how it works, it feels a little worse, laughing up a storm. I have no idea how many times i have had to say, "wait, start over, i was distracted." Then you breathe a sigh of relief and start again, only this time with a little smile in your voice because my honestly was appreciated. Sometimes, I am probably to honest, but you are too. Sometimes I just do not want to know what you are thinking, I wish i did. I mean, your thoughts should be your own anyway right? No, they are much better said, it just hurts sometimes. The truth tends to hurt, the full honest truth. How do you tell someone what you are thinking when you can't get the voices in your head to agree on something to say? They meet around their round table and discuss what my brain's next move should be, but as most political agendas, it took to long so my heart already said it, and with to much honesty again. Can't these guys just get a hold of my heart and give it a nice slab on the wrist. My heart would probably still love them, and invite them for tea. That is not right, my heart does not like tea, this makes things very interesting.

I decided recently that I am a beautiful, empowered woman, with so much to offer this world. I may have my grace period at this time, but one day i will love somebody fully, and take that one foot stationed on the ground and lift it high as i float away. I hear so much in this head of mine and it breaks my heart that I should not be able to have what I want most. I suppose one day we would understand though. Just kiss me sweetly and softly. It will all get better soon.