eight by eight

inspired by miss Lindsey.

8 books I have loved
1. Twilight series (most recent)
2. Angles & Demons +
3. The Giver
4. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy +
5. Perks of Being a Wallflower
6. Book of Mormon
7. The Apology
8. The Coming of the Lord

8 favorite places to eat
1. Olive Garden
2. Cafe Rio
3. Senior Max
4. Home
5. Edward/Petty residence (they got skills)
6. Wingers
7. Subway
8. In comfort

8 things that happened yesterday
1. slept in
2. showered the good shower
3. ate left over thanksgiving
4. watched my sister and mother make my grandmother's old recipes
5. laughed.
6. cried.
7. ate pie
8. said happy birthday to someone

8 things I am looking forward to
1. Christmas lights
2. Christmas music
3. Christmas
4. Family
5. Final projects
6. To figure this life out... one day, see how this will end.
7. Reading tonight
8. Ham!!!

8 concerts I would love to attend
1. Menomena (again)
2. Bright Eyes
3. Bob Marley (if it were possible)
4. Fight!
5. Daft Punk
6. Ben Harper
7. Iron & Wine
8. Sufjan Stevens

8 places to visit
1. Venice
2. Mexico
3. Canada
4. Cambodia
6. Cayman Islands
7. Rain Forest
8. China

8 favorite movies
1. Elizabethtown
2. The Fountain
3. The Notebook
4. Everything is Illuminated
5. Ratatouille
6. Sleepless in Seattle (mostly for the music)
7. Harry Potters
8. Lord of the Rings ( basically any good adventure)

8 great songs
1. Ben Harper - Suzie Blue
2. Beirut- Elephant Gun
3. Bob Marley- Could You Be Loved
4. Bright Eyes- This is the First day of My Life
5. Bobby Darin- Beyond the Sea
6. DeVotchka- How it Ends
7. Justice- D.A.N.C.E.
8. Menomena - Wet and Rusting
9. Sufjan Stevens - Concerning the UFO Sighting Near Highland, Illinois

8 amazing photographers
1. Robert ParkeHarrison - Architects Brother
2. James Nachtwey- Rwanda (1994)
3. Edward Muybridge - Study of Motion
4. Eugene Aget - documented a changing Paris
5. Francis Frith- travel photographer
6. Amy Jorgensen- Body Archive
7. Richard Avedon
8. Robert Frank

8 impacting things I have heard with my own ears
1. "If you make a mistake, make the best mistake you ever made." -grandfather
2. "Be selfish if you need to." - amanda
3. "If you are looking for a certain response, tell it to yourself." m.p.
4. "It is okay to not be okay." s.k.
5. "Always stay as sweet as you are." -grandmother
6. "I have never met someone so truthful." w.e.
7. "That is what parents do." - my mother who supports me through everything.
8. "Would you stop, and LISTEN!?" -anger/very right father

broken

this hurts. it hurts really bad. it finally sunk in today, and i feel so broken inside and so broken outside. My soul has already wanted to scream, it already wanted to deny and float along as if nothing had happened, as if there were no change... but that was awhile ago and there was a calm before my storm. Today, it was different though, and it finally hit me, and I finally remembered, remembered everything, every smile, every sigh, every touch, every look, every everything and it hurts so much right now. I allowed myself to dream, to hope, and that makes it hurt even more. I keep telling myself I am strong, that this minute will be over soon, the next hour will be behind me, and I will have made it through another day, and they told me if I could make it through the day that it was strength, so I told myself I was strong. But, I wasn't, because I merely distracted myself, I let myself drift, refusing any reality, and I did it the next day, and the day after that, and perhaps the day after that, and then I felt myself screaming inside. It was swimming through my veins and I remembered how it had entered through my eyes, through my ears, through my nostrils, absorbed through my palms, and porous skin, silently ambushing my heart. I finally felt it all pushing toward the surface, as any body would react to a poison, and it hurts today. I had even tried to talk myself into letting this happen simply for the idea of actually "living" the way you would see someone living in a sensitive moment of a muted film still before the symphony of misery wraps their souls in a blanket of euphoric drama. I ask myself now, when does it stop hurting, when do we see the irony, when do I get that bitter-sweet moment of comic relief, a small sense of satisfaction for this sacrificial, self-destructive Hollywood moment? Everyone was telling me, "A good heartbreak is healthy," and now I can have this important life experience, making me stronger for the future I suppose. But, what if it was all in vain, what if my head is so filled with with garbage from everything around me to even recognize when I have something good, something great, standing right in front of me? What if I cannot even trust myself? That is a terrifying thought, the thought I may not even have my best interest at heart? I guess we are all at risk when we believe we have to live like that, live up to masterly-crafted expectations because we risk losing ourselves in this case. I guess this is all part of the process, the process I have heard so many people talk about, and suddenly I realize my feeling of being alone is felt by everyone, and we are all in this together, this act of living. My heart was broken yesterday, is broken today, broken tomorrow, and quite possibly the day after that, but it is healing, and I hear these things take time.

love, jo.

Some of the Greats

I once heard some say "Your art will be $h%* it you are not experiencing." Here I am with anger, grief, hatred, love, passion, compassion, and to think I would have nothing to do with it. I am going to take it and go.

Dorthea Lange

"Migrant Mother"

Dorthea Lange believed photography was going to save the world. Her husband asked her "What is it going save the world from?" This is one of the most influential images in the history of the world taken on a not so special day, during a very difficult time. She documented the depression and she said her camera became and appendage. She later wrote her experience while photographing people like you and me forced into such difficult times, "It is difficult to photograph a proud man in a background of poverty."

Richard Avedon

"Dovima with Elephants"

Richard Avedon took photography to an entirely different level, fashion photography quickly left the studio and flooded the streets, mingling with a surreal reality. Avedon spoke, 'The way I see is comparable to the way musicians hear, something extra-sensory. Not judgmental. I don't differentiate between an idea of what is beautiful and what is not. What I see is a reaffirmation of the many things I need to feel. It has to do with obsessive qualities, not explainable. I am a natural photographer. It is my language, I speak through my photographs more intricately, more deeply than with words."

Robert Cappa

Robert Cappa brought us the truth. He had one thing to say that would affect photography forever, "If your pictures are not good enough, you are not close enough." This photograph was taken next to a man just shot, in mid fall, ending his life. Cappa was right there, right next time him.

Diane Arbus

"Crying"
and sometimes how i feel

Diane Arbus began photographing after her husband taught her the art, and they tag teamed some of New Yorks 5th Ave. fashion, creating very brilliant images together. Their success was there, but something was missing for her, she needing something else and she insisted she could no longer photograph. Her husband told her to go home and figure out what she did want to photograph and after serious contemplation she realized she wanted to photograph what was "evil." Her photography however, eludes a sense of the "forbidden" instead of "evil." She kept a diary containing hundreds of pages of what she would photograph if it were acceptable, things she saw everyday. In our culture it would be inappropriate to photograph our crying child, we save our rolls of film for little Johnny when he is building his sand castle at the beach; we would never photograph his reaction when the tide comes in and his creation is washed away. She later expressed, "My favorite place to go is where I have never been."